Can't Sleep

So I’m up pacing the floors, I can’t sleep. It’s probably a combination of Steven’s loud snoring and the fact that I drank a 32oz soft drink before we laid down to go to bed...great idea Ashleigh! Steven’s a police officer and his schedule changes from month to month; one month days the next month nights. As soon as I get use to sleeping with him, he goes on night, then when I get use to sleeping with out him, he’s back on days! He just got back on days (which means back to sleeping with me at night) so I was quickly reminded of how loud his snoring really is. So long restless sleep! Hello to the elbowing and kicking trying to get him to change positions long enough for me to fall back asleep before the snoring starts up again. Ahhh, the joys of being married.

The reality of the fact that we have been married for almost 9 years kicked in just the other day. It really doesn’t seem like it’s been that long. In fact, I was just going through our old High School pictures today, scanning them and loading them on Facebook. We met in High School, dated our senior year, and then married in the fall after we graduated. (He had more hair then...I wonder if he’s loosing hair because of the stress I put him under, LOL.) I can remember some days in high school like it was yesterday...all it takes is one look at a photo and the wave of memories hits me like a truck. It makes me realize how fragile time is, how easily it can be wasted. It makes me sad to realize the amount of time that I’ve wasted and the idiotic mistakes that I’ve made with some of the time that I’ve been given. It really makes me sick. Then I remember the happy times, and I’m so grateful for those. Steven has given me a lot of very happy times and for that I will always be grateful. But, we can’t dwell on the past...got to keep moving forward. Learn from it and move on! Some of those trips down memory lane can really be dangerous if you linger there too long.

Okay, I really don’t know what the point of this blog is except that I can’t sleep! Oh well, I hope you enjoyed my rambling.

Until next time!

Blogging

Okay so I though I’d try this blog thing out as a stress reliever. I have so much to say and would just like a space to say it. I watched Oprah today; she did a show on moms and the dirty little secrets of motherhood. I was mostly surprised that Oprah was doing a show like this because she isn’t a mom and couldn’t possibly relate to what we moms go through...but she asked the questions and shook her head left to right up and down like she knew exactly how it felt...this made me laugh. Tomorrow her show is going to be on the economy and how it affects the marriage. She is going to show case a couple who is loosing their home to foreclosure and plans to have them on the show to tell them that money isn’t everything...okay I get that, but I wouldn’t want to hear that from someone who has literally billions of dollars! Give me a break! Let someone who is in my shoes tell me! Now I’d like to see how she plans on relating to this! Don’t get me wrong...I like Oprah, I think that she is very giving and caring...I just think it’s kind of ridiculous her doing shows on motherhood and money when she clearly....okay I’m going to stop here before I say something that I am going to regret later. My family and I are currently facing a foreclosure, the last person that I want telling me that everything is going to be okay is someone who isn’t going through or hasn’t been through the same financial struggles I’m currently going through. I can’t complain much...it is getting better. At least my husband has a job...and job security. As long as there’s crime there will always be a need for a cop! I’m so glad that he is happy with what he is doing. I’m currently facing a kind of personality crises...I feel like I’ve lost who I am. Is this really my life? Is this really all there is? Wake up, put kids on the bus, clean house, run errands, kids off bus, do homework, fix dinner, bath time, kids bedtime, if my hubby is lucky then he gets a cookie, then we go to bed. Same thing the next day. (Big sigh) I know that there is more...but right now things just seam so redundant.

Well, I’m out for now...time to fix dinner. This blogging thing could be fun! I’m feeling better already :)